She Almost Cancelled Her Session — Evansville Indiana Boudoir Photographer
**before we get started I want to note, the babe who wrote this piece for the blog has chosen not to share photos from her session, so I’ve included some images from an anonymous session I did a while ago because what’s a blog without photos?
I always say that there are two hurdles to jump to get to your session; there’s one when you make the choice to reach out and book your session, and one when you make the choice to show up.
Making the choice to book a session can be an internal struggle. I fully acknowledge that it can be challenging to put yourself out there and be vulnerable in this way. Investing in and showing up for yourself is a brave thing to do, no matter how you choose to do it. I’ve been where you are, on the other side of the camera. I know what it’s like to not know what to expect, and I still feel those same feelings every time I schedule a session for myself. For me, reaching out to book is the biggest hurdle. Making that choice to invest in myself is a hard one for me — I get tripped up on the excuses I hear so often: about my insecurities, or spending money, or sometimes wondering if I’ll even like the outcome. Believe me, I know all the excuses all too well. But once I make the choice to do it, showing up is easier because I’ve talked with my photographer and planned exponentially.
Once you make the choice to trust me to capture photos of you, I’m by your side every step of the way. I walk you through the process, answer any questions you have (usually before you have them!), and support and encourage you long after your session.
I had a client recently that got over the first hurdle no problem and booked a session for her birthday, but the second hurdle tripped her up big time.
She did the thing; sent me a message and excitedly booked her session, and we started the planning process. She was SO excited for it. We were celebrating her birthday, and she mentioned she wanted to use the photos to make an inspirational post on Instagram. Love that attitude. I’m all about being proud of yourself and your body, and empowering others through your own vulnerability.
We coasted through planning, and ultimately she didn’t seem more nervous than any other client. She didn’t need a ton of questions answered or need a lot of extra support throughout the process. (Unlike me; I like to keep my photographer updated on every little move I make leading up to the session, lol.) She seemed to be doing just fine, we chatted in the week leading up to her session and finalized little details, and I thought we were good to go. I was sooo looking forward to having her in the studio and celebrating her birthday with her.
But then, I received a message from her just two days before her session, and she told me she was having second thoughts about going through with her session. She shared that while planning, she realized she was doing it for the wrong reasons.
In the beginning, she wanted to book the session to celebrate her birthday, but she had another reason for booking the session as well. She wanted to make that inspirational post on Instagram to show some guy what he was missing out on. No hate, we’ve all been there. But… this is the absolute worst reason for booking a session. Booking a boudoir session only for someone else won’t make you feel good at the end of the day. You have to want to do it for yourself first and foremost in order to leave feeling good. If you’re doing it for someone else, you’ll have that in the back of your mind and the experience won’t be as empowering for you as it should be.
This babe realized the mistake she was making, and let me know she wanted to back out. She wasn’t doing it for the right reasons, it wouldn’t make her happy to make this post she had been dreaming of, and she wanted out of the commitment. Ouch. I immediately sent her a longgg email and began talking her through these new hesitations. I gave her the Beyonce speech of a lifetime (if you haven’t been on the receiving end of one of my famous “Beyonce” speeches before, it’s really just a super amped pep talk.) We acknowledged that she wasn’t doing it for the ‘right’ reasons, but agreed that since she realized that beforehand, we could reframe what we had planned and she could walk into the studio and do it just for her.
This was the perfect opportunity for her to show up for herself in a way that she was so stoked about at one point, and we created the space for her to be free to be entirely herself. She’s chosen not to share any of her photos, and keep them just for herself as part of reclaiming the experience for herself. I’m so glad she chose to show up that day and put her trust in me, and so thankful that now she has these photos to look back on when she needs a reminder that she’s resilient and brave.
I asked her to share a little about her experience, because I know how hard it can be leading up to your session and having those last minute doubts and cold feet feelings. She isn’t the only client I’ve had that came into their session telling me that the morning of they had desperately brainstormed every excuse possible to not show up — before realizing that their excuses were mostly hot air and that I totally had their back. I hope her sharing about her experience can help another babe out there who might be having these same hesitations and holding off on doing something that they really want to do for whatever reason. Since she’s chosen not to share any of her photos, I’ve included some from an anonymous session I did a while ago! Because blogs are way more fun with pictures to go along with them.
“Once it got closer to session, my reason for doing the shoot did a whole 180.
Initially, I was doing the session for some spiteful reason to make myself feel better because a guy didn't like me for me. I was trying to do anything I could, and wanted to make the most inspiring and savage Instagram post hoping he would see it and think, ‘wow, I really messed up.’ I thought so much about what the post would say, but as time went on, I realized how little that even mattered anymore and how much can change in a few months.
I almost cancelled my session last minute, between my reason changing and after considering my new man’s feelings, I didn't want to make a post for attention anymore. On second thought, It wasn't so much attention I was aiming for, but I wanted to make one of those inspirational posts that makes everyone think about how much self love and body image are so important in our lives.
Eleanor reached out to me when I said I wanted to cancel because I was doing it for the wrong reasons and she said the best six words I might have ever heard.
‘Do it for your damn self.’
That's when it hit me: all I've ever done is this and that so some guy would like me more. I realized the whole world doesn't even have to see [the end result]; do it because it will make you happy, because it will make you feel beautiful.
Don't hold back on doing things you want to do because life is too short, and people in your life change all the time. If some guy won't accept you for who you are and understand why you want to do this, so what? Do it anyway. Do what you want to do, do what makes you happy because it's your decision and your life. Do this one thing for yourself even if it's just once, because you won't regret it. I know I don't, and I’m glad I didn't feel the need to post anything. I like looking at the pictures of myself because I did something for myself for once, and I'm proud of myself for that. It's a reminder to myself.
Eleanor made everything super fun and comfortable. Something about women’s empowerment is so beautiful. I'm glad she does what she does because it's definitely something I think everyone needs to do at least once. She knew exactly what poses to [put me in] so I didn't feel awkward at all.”
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I would love to have you in the studio so you can have an experience like this for yourself! Whether you’re all in and ready to go, need some more info before we get started, or are on the fence and want to talk things through before you commit – I’m here for ya! Click here to get in touch!
