Redefining What Makes a “Flattering” Photo – Evansville Indiana Boudoir Photographer

Spoiler alert: it’s not about your body

When people say they want “flattering” photos, what they’re really saying is that they wanna see a version of themselves that matches how they see themselves or how they want to see themselves.

Because when you see a photo of yourself that doesn’t match that image of yourself that you have in your brain, there’s a disconnect. And then we label that disconnect as “unflattering.”

And if we’re being 100% honest, most of us have been taught that “flattering” means thin, pretty, and polished.

But it’s not just about what your body looks like; it’s also about perception—how you see yourself, and how you think other people might see you. And yeah… we allllll want to feel attractive. That’s just human.

The problem with the word “flattering”

The tricky thing is that most people have never actually defined what “flattering” means to them. We’ve just absorbed the idea of what other people think is flattering.

From magazines, TV shows, social media, and years of messaging about what makes a body “good” or “desirable.” I very clearly remember flipping through those best and worst beach bodies issues of magazines growing up and getting a very clear message that thin, toned, and tan bodies = good. And soft, textured, or different bodies = bad.

Shows like America’s Next Top Model or What Not to Wear didn’t help either. So much of the media we consumed in the 90’s and 2000’s was constantly reinforcing the idea that if you didn’t fit a very specific mold, you needed to change parts of yourself.

So of course those ideas stick in your psyche and are hard to shake as an adult.

When you grow up internalizing all of that, you don’t really get the chance to decide what you think is beautiful because it’s already been decided for you. And thennn you bring all of those ideas into your boudoir session where you’re already stepping outside your comfort zone and allowing yourself to be seen in a way that you usually aren’t. It creates a ton of mental pressure!

But it’s not your job to appear a certain way.

It’s not your job to show up looking a certain way—it’s my job to photograph you well. And that means I’m paying attention to the details you probably don’t even notice. The placement of your hands, the tilt of your head, the way your hair falls, the angles of your body, and the way your outfit is sitting are all things that I’m looking at and making sure are picture perfect.

Tiny adjustments can completely change the way a photo looks. Something as small as shifting your chin half an inch or turning your shoulders can take an image from just okay to “omg I’m obsessed with that”

→ To be clear, I’m obsessed with both of these photos, but one small change (arching her back!) made this pose completely different. And she preferred one version over the other, which is always okay!

I’m also looking at the light! I’m focusing on how it’s hitting your body, where it’s creating shadows and depth, and making sure your face is well lit. Beyond the light, I’m thinking about the composition of the photo and focusing on creating lines and shapes with your body that are visually pleasing and feel natural to you. (Shoutout to the art degree for that one.)

The photos you’re drawn to? The ones that feel effortless and beautiful? Not to brag, but it isn’t luck. It all comes down to your photographer’s skill and with almost 10 years in the industry, it’s safe to say that your session won’t be my first rodeo.

So let’s redefine the idea of flattering

What if you asked yourself: What does flattering actually mean to me?Not what you were taught, not what trends say, not what gets the most likes.

→ What feels like you? What makes you feel confident? Comfortable? At home in your body?

There are so many ways you can ask yourself this question, and lots of follow up questions to get to the heart of what you think is flattering! It’s taken me years to get to a place where I’m finally redefining flattering for myself. For example, just last year I started figuring out that I actually really like a baggy pant + baggy top combo. This definitely isn’t flattering based on What Not To Wear standards, but I love the silhouette and I feel comfy and confident in it!

The answers to those questions are going to look different for everyone and that’s the whole point. Your opinion of yourself and what is flattering to you is what matters the most.

When you start seeing yourself differently, even just a little, it doesn’t stay contained to the photos. You start thinking less about how you look and more about how you feel, what you want, and what really matters to you.

You carry yourself differently, and ideally you stop overanalyzing every angle and start existing in your body a little more freely. And maybe most importantly—you start to realize that other people’s perception of you isn’t your business and it’s definitely not your responsibility.

Your body was never the problem.

Your body doesn’t need to change for you to look “flattering” in photos, and it never did. What can change (and maybe should change) is the way you see yourself. I know that might sound daunting, but you don’t have to figure it out alone. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.