Throwback: Misunderstood Millennials
Episode Summary
Our very first Throwback Thursday!! On this episode of Not So Ladylike, we’re revisiting a convo that Katie and I had on the OG podcast about some of the misconceptions people have about millennials and how frustrating it can be to have to push back against them for our literal entire lives.
How Katie always has to use GPS (1:40) and THANK GOD we don’t have to print MapQuest directions out anymore
Why we actually would rather have a phone call than text back and forth (5:42)
How participation trophies do kinda suck (8:54) and which generation really started that trend
Why we might collectively feel that we have to always be productive in order to earn rest (17:30)
The growing desire to switch back to a flip phone (36:47)
Thanks for listening to Not So Ladylike! If we aren’t already, I’d love to be friends on Instagram – you can find me @EleanorElaineBoudoir. And before you go, I’d be so appreciative if you’d leave a five star review wherever you listen to podcasts and tell a friend about today’s episode! Any friend of yours is a friend of mine.
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Transcription
Hello and welcome to the very first throwback episode of this iteration of Not So Ladylike! So when Not So Ladylike started, my best friend Katie and I decided to take on this passion project together and we recorded a ton of episodes over nine months. So when we pivoted and Not So Ladylike became part of my brand, we sat down with all of our old material and chose the best of the best. The stuff that performed the best, the things that you liked the most that got the most engagement, that started the most conversations. And we decided that I would repurpose them and post them as Throwback Thursday episodes so you could still get all of that really good content because we had a lot of really really good conversations on the show. So before decided which episode would be the first Throwback Thursday episode, I put out a poll of a few of my personal favorite episodes and I let you choose, and by literally one vote… Misunderstood Millennials won. So I have a few more that are in my queue to share with you over time, but the very first one is today’s episode: Misunderstood Millennials.
I’m Eleanor Elaine, and you’re listening to Not So Ladylike.
intro music
Ellie: Welcome back to Not So Ladylike!
Katie: Today we're going to talk about millennial misconceptions and some that we have been victim to.
Ellie: Yeah, because we're all snowflakes.
Katie: Yes. We’re not.
Ellie: Okay, I think you have a story for us?
Katie: I do. So one of the big misconceptions… or accurate… conceptions…
*laughter*
Ellie: Just conceptions!
Katie: Things around technology, and we'll get into that. So I don't want to spill all the beans, but I rely heavily on my GPS to get from A to B every single day. I am pretty confident I use GPS. Like I just said, every single day, if I'm going anywhere that's not my house and work, I have to use GPS even if I'm taking a different route. Like, if I want to stop somewhere on the way home, it's like, just to be safe, let's just…
Ellie: GPS it.
Katie: Let's just GPS it. In fact, when I leave here a lot, I GPS how to get home to see the fastest route. You know, sometimes I just get confused. And that one time I'm kind of rambling. But remember when I was coming from home and I was trying to go to fucking Dunkin’ Donuts? And I put it in my GPS because I had never been to the one in Newburgh and it took me all the way to the riverfront around some super rich neighborhood, and all of a sudden I was on a dead end street in a subdivision on top of a hill about 100 yards from the river. And I was like, this is not Dunkin’ Donuts. And it took me like an hour to get here that day. And we live like 16 minutes apart.
Ellie: She knows exactly 16 because she uses her GPS to get here.
Katie: Right. So anyway, Ellie always thinks it's funny because if I wasn't a millennial, I would have to literally have a map in my car everywhere that I went. Maybe I should get one just in case. I was freaking out. Here's another story. I was freaking out because recently I made my first road trip by myself. I went to Indy for a little girls trip, and I was asking Shayne, what if I get lost? And he was like, you have your GPS and it's literally a straight shot. And it was-hindsight. It was a great trip. Very easy to get there, whatever. But I was like, you lose service on 69, I will lose signal and then I won't have GPS. And Shayne was like, you drive on 69 basically until you get to Dayne and Sam's house. Like, you just don't stop. Even if you lose signal, just keep going straight and I panicked.
Ellie: And you and I had the same conversation and you were still just freaked.
Katie: It was awesome, though. An awesome little trip.
Ellie: That was a good little experience for you.
Katie: Yeah. Some independence was a stewing.
Ellie: Yeah.
Katie: I'm a new Gal. Whatever. Do you use your GPS very often?
Ellie: No, that's it.
Katie: That's not what I was expecting you to say.
Ellie: No, I hardly ever use my GPS. Thanks to my mom, I have pretty good sense of direction. Mom and Pop, I know cardinal directions pretty well, and I've always been good about knowing how to get from point A to point B. When I was younger, Julie told me this story before. I don't remember it, but, like, Julie was taking me to dance class instead of Nan, and she didn't really know where she was going. And I was probably five or six giving her instructions on where to turn. But usually if I get myself somewhere, I can absolutely get myself home.
Katie: And I probably used GPS to get to your apartment, like the first ten times I came here. But I also think my issue is I take a different route all of the time. Sometimes if I'm feeling wild and not in a hurry, I'll think, you know what? I bet I could figure this out and I’ll-
Ellie: Mosey.
Katie: Yeah. I'll mosey around.
Ellie: I usually take the same route to your house, but sometimes I experiment with different routes just to see if they're faster. But I don't use my GPS when I do it.
Katie: Just hope for the best.
Ellie: Yeah. I just know where roads are.
Katie: When I think of North, South, east and West, I think, well, I know USI is West, and I know my Grandpa's house is North, and I know target is East. And so it's like..
Ellie: You need landmarks.
Katie: Yeah, it's like, I know which way is West. It's towards USI.
Ellie: For sure.
Katie: If I'm not in Evansville, though.
Ellie: SOL.
Katie: Yeah.
Ellie: Good luck to you.
Katie: Yeah. So we did ask on Instagram for some of your millennial misconceptions as well. So we're just going to sprinkle everything together, but we can jump into the technology one.
Ellie: I think it's a huge misconception that millennials are technology hungry, and I think we get a lot of shit for liking the text. I know we've heard it for our whole lives, and it's something that a lot of us joke about now. Like, I don't want to be on the phone. I would rather text. And I used to be that way where I was like, I never want to make a phone call. But now that I'm a little older, I really would rather talk on the phone than text because it's just so much more efficient, especially if it's going to be more of a lengthy conversation. I would rather just talk on the phone for five minutes and get it over with than text back and forth for half an hour. However, if it's a short conversation, or you just have a question or something. I would rather be texted so I can just fire back a response and be done with it and not have to. Oh, hello. How are you? Okay. Talk to you later. Whatever.
Katie: I don't think it has any correlation with being personable or not for us and like, our peers, at least, because, like you said, I will text you or my mom or anybody, I guess, if I'm working and just trying to get a little snippet out, like, hey, I just remembered or to Shayne, put the ground beef in the fridge to thaw or whatever. But if I want to have a conversation, I will always pick up the phone and call, especially my really close group, like, you, mom, Shayne. But even when we first started talking on the phone, a lot of times I'll go on a walk and it's like, hey, my hands are like, I'm available. Let's talk on the phone.
Ellie: Yeah.
Katie: I would always feel weird, like I should text first and ask if it's okay to call. And that kind of ruins it because then it takes more time. I've made that mistake with my sister in law a lot. We'll both be like, let's chat tonight. And then I'll text and wait for her to respond, and by the time she realizes I've texted, I should have just called and got her attention. And then the time has passed. Blah, blah, blah.
Ellie: Yeah.
Katie: But I feel like a phone call feels like it's interrupting, but people won't answer if they don't have time. Like, it's fine, just don't answer the phone.
Ellie: Right.
Katie: And I think we should go ahead and talk about what a millennial is so everyone knows the actual facts. The age group of millennials is anyone born between 81 and…
Ellie: 96.
Katie: That means some of you, some of them, some of us are 40 years old and are a millennial. And we've talked about, you and I off the mic, about how we think people just use the term millennials to kind of trash anybody younger than them. So it's like a bunch of boomers, just call everybody younger than them or Gen X's, millennials. And it's like you're just grouchy.
Ellie: Yeah. And I'm sure it's hard. I mean, obviously we don't have the first hand experience because we are millennials and in our 20s. But I'm sure it's hard when you get older and technology has advanced so much, even just since the 80s to now. Things are so different and changing so rapidly that I'm sure it's hard to adjust to. And I definitely feel like millennials get the brunt of all of the frustration with how quickly things have been changing.
Katie: Yes. I think it's one of those things that just changes over time. Like cars have changed, like everything has changed. And it's not our faults that technology is improving or getting better.
Ellie: Speaking of things, we didn't ask for, something that millennials get a lot of shit for is for wanting participation trophies. And I was thinking about that the other day while we were prepping for this episode. And participation trophies aren't something that we ever asked for. They were created and given to us-
Katie: By our parents or our parents generation. Like, they wanted us to feel like we got a trophy.
Ellie: Right. I was reading an article about it. I can't remember where I found it or who it was by. So forgive me for not having the source for that, but I was reading about it and they were saying something about, like, participation trophies were created because parents didn't want to do the job of teaching their kids, like, you can't always win, and it's okay to not win, but we still have to be sportsmanlike, they were created to satisfy everyone and no one ever asked for them.
Katie: Especially because I'm one of the most competitive people that I know. I'm not about to give a participation trophy to anybody or accept one. Like, I want to win or…
Ellie: Not.
Katie: Or not. Yeah. And so Shayne and I actually talk about that a lot with Jackson because he's like, he's going to be taught, like, you're not just a winner. I'm glad you're trying. I'm glad you came. But it's okay to lose, too. But you don't get a trophy for losing. I'm sure people disagree, but…
Ellie: Get your own podcast.
Katie: Get yourself a trophy. Yeah. I don't know.
Ellie: I had a collection of trophies. I know we all do. But a lot of them were like, this is my trophy for playing tee ball when really I just drew in the sand the whole time.
Katie: Right.
Ellie: And it's like, these trophies don't mean anything to me because I didn't earn them. I was just participating. And it's like I really would rather not have them.
Katie: I remember when I became a swimmer that you get ribbons after events when you place well. And that always felt so cool because it was an individual sport. So if I got a ribbon, it was because I truly earned it. And they usually only went to, I believe, third place, but sometimes they'd go down to six. And it was like, I saved all of those because it was literally how I placed. And it was like, I earned that. I still have them all in a Ziploc bag somewhere because they just feel like I earned that myself. It was the first thing I did that wasn't a team sport, too. So it's kind of a team sport, but not your own event, whatever.
Ellie: It's like, that's your achievement.
Katie: Yeah, my time, my place. So when I see a blue ribbon, it's like, you got first place.
Ellie: Yeah.
Katie: Love that for me.
Ellie: Speaking of achievements, another misconception about millennials is that we're all lazy and we don't like to work hard and everything just gets handed to us.
Katie: And I think there's a lot to be said about that. But mostly I don't think we don't like to work hard. I think we like to work smart. And I think we've talked about this on another episode about how many hours are in a work day versus how many hours it technically could take to do a job. This might be too many things at one time, but I think we also really value work life balance, and we can see how to fit that in as opposed to thinking I have to work 40 hours to be successful. I just think that's not true.
Ellie: No, absolutely not. And I think especially now after COVID… after is subjective- but now at the height of the pandemic has passed us, I think we've all learned the value of work life balance, and we placed emphasis on it before. But I think now we really realize what are the important things in life. And should I be working myself to the bone for a job that if I died tomorrow, would replace me next week?
Katie: That really bothers me when I think about that too much, because I think people are quick to say we've learned a lot through the pandemic, and I think we have you and I specifically and lots of people. But then you see things in the workplace where they're mandating, people come back to the office full time where they don't need to be or just all sorts of things. And it's like, could we take what we learned and actually make everybody's lives better? And I get frustrated about that because I do think through the pandemic, we learned a lot of things about work life balance or about remote work capabilities that aren't being utilized.
Ellie: I think it's become really clear that most jobs can be done remotely and be done more efficiently. I mean, there are a lot of jokes online about, like, I would rather have a meeting on Zoom online, and then I can also be doing laundry and whatever. I saw a TikTok this morning that was like, I'm in my hair rollers, I'm not wearing pants, and I'm on a meeting and I'm participating, and it's going really well, and I'm learning a lot, and I'm doing a little laundry while I'm doing it.
Katie: Yes. And I think some people, like everything, there are some bad apples that ruin the bunch. But I think that employers need to see that that happens in the office, too. There are also people who sit in the office and do literally nothing and don't get caught. So what's the difference if I'm at home and then you're not paying for the utilities for the office or anything for me, there's always going to be people who abuse the system.
Ellie: And I think as long as the job gets done, what does it mean if I'm wearing pants or not.
Katie: Right? It doesn't matter. You've talked a lot about privilege before and what it's like to have…
Ellie: Yeah, you can say it.
Katie: Just like, have family who's able to give you things, as opposed to you having to purchase your car or…
Ellie: For sure.
Katie: You have better words.
Ellie: I like your words.
Katie: Well, we've talked about it so many times that it feels natural. But I think you've gotten slack in the past where people being like, you don't know what it's like. You just have everything handed to you. You walk around with your grandma's car and it's like, well, I am blessed or lucky or privileged.
Ellie: And I can only think of like one or two times in particular that someone said something to me about it. And you and I have had extensive conversations about it. Because for those of you who don't know, I am so lucky and so privileged to have family who helps me out a whole lot. And that's purely privilege. And how fortunate I am that my grandparents worked really hard to be able to give me things and help me live my life, especially in college, which is a time that's so hard for so many people because they have to work three jobs and go to school. And all of these things have all these bills. We were around a lot of conversations where people, of course, are frustrated because they are working so hard just to do the bare minimum. And there are other people who are incredibly privileged and don't realize that they are just getting things handed to them and taking things for granted.
Katie: But that's the difference, I think, in you and some of those other people, you've always recognized your privilege and been very grateful for it.
Ellie: Yeah. And I think that's something that I've been super conscious of for about my whole life is that I'm really lucky to have a really supportive family, and it's really important to me to be able to share that. And I remember, like in high school, if my friends and I went out to dinner, I would buy my friend's dinner or something.
Katie: You bought me dinner more times than I can count in college, you bought me dinner snacks all of the time. And that was part of your payment. Like as an RA, that was your salary. And you definitely spread that around through the Starbucks line.
Ellie: Being an RA was so fun because we got like two grand and munch money or whatever.
Katie: Yeah. You've always been very giving. You chose to have a job also. You still worked for things. You've always had a good work ethic. It's not like Nan gave you her car and it made you a spoiled rotten brat. Like you were still a hard worker. All of those things.
Ellie: Yeah. I think there is a huge misconception that millennials in particular don't work hard and are handed things right. And I think that that's true sometimes. Like we've said, there are always people who-
Katie: —are lazy.
Ellie: Right.
Katie: But in every generation.
Ellie: For sure.
Katie: And I've worked since I was 15, and obviously at 15, I didn't have to have a job. What do you need to pay for when you're 15? But I think my parents have always taught me that you have to work for things. My brother, I'm sure he was 15 or 16, too. I don't remember when he got his first job. But we both had jobs when we were young. We both always worked. I think we've had jobs ever since. I think it's just important. And your Nan and pop, even when we've gone on vacations with them, have always talked about how hard they work to get to where they are. And they've instilled that in their children and grandchildren.
Ellie: Yes, for sure.
Katie: And Ellie's mom just retired at the age of…
Ellie: 54.
Katie: So young. Retired at 54. And now she has the rest of her life to be retired. Do whatever she wants.
Ellie: Work for us.
Katie: Yes. Put her on the payroll. So kind of looping back to what it was like to work through COVID and what we've learned through it. Someone wrote in on Instagram and said that another misconception is that we're lazy and that her self worth is now tied to working a time and not being lazy.
Ellie: #relatable.
Katie: So I think the worst being tied to working a ton for me has come from the pandemic as well. Because now we're reachable all of the time and I will get emails and stuff from work at two or three a.m. when someone wakes up and has a thought or late in the evening and our system at work is kind of goofy, I can't just delete the email app off my phone because it has to be set up by IT. So I'm sure there's a way to go in and turn off notifications, whatever. None of that really matters. The point is, our boundaries aren't really respected like they used to be because of technology. You have your work phone, your home phone, your laptop, whatever. You've got so many ways to access your employees that they just think we should be available all of the time. And I think that has a lot to do with your self worth being tied to overworking because we're able to produce results at any hour of the day and any hour of the night. And I think that's really unfair and I don't think it's because we're millennials, and I think it's more due to COVID. But what is your perspective?
Ellie: I was doing a really good job listening and not thinking.
Katie: That's okay. I might have put too much of my emotion on her response as opposed to what she's saying.
Ellie: I totally agree with you. I think, especially being able to be accessed 24/7 has made things Super, super hard, whether it's with work or friendships or family. I think that because of the way technology is now, it's just kind of expected that when you message someone, they're going to be available and used to, you make a call and if they don't pick up, you leave a voicemail, they call you back or you send an email. And when they're able to email you back, there wasn't the same sense of urgency. It's like Amazon Prime urgency, where we just expect to get things immediately.
Katie: Yes.
Ellie: And as much as I love instant gratification, it's like so unhealthy to expect not only for people to be available to you 24/7, but to expect to be able to get things 24/7. That’s a little off topic.
Katie: Well, not really, because I think it just shows that that's one of the reasons it's hard for us sometimes to give grace to people because we're so used to like, hurry right now, come on. I said jump like it's time. And so I think it takes us out of that spot of being like, be patient, let them take their time. My coworker that I work really close with, she always says that when she gets those emails, she does respond immediately because otherwise she just worries about it and is anxious even if it comes after hours. Whereas I am like, screw off, I'm not responding to you. I will get to you at like 10:00 A.m. tomorrow after I get in and get settled and get my stuff taken care of. Then I will respond to the email always within like one business day, but not instantly. But I think it's not fair ever to do that to people because some people are like that and think like, oh my gosh, I have to respond or I'm going to get wrote up or fired for not responding to my boss right now.
Ellie: Yeah.
Katie: And that's not fair.
Ellie: I've started I used to be really bad about answering emails all the time and answering messages all the time until I sent business hours. And when I get an email late, I will just think about it. So I've started typing out a response and Gmail is my homie because I can type out a response and then schedule it to send. So I'll write the email to get it out of my brain and then I'll schedule it to send at 8:00 A.m. Or whatever. So that way it's done. It's not taking up space in my brain. And though I don't love that, I felt like I had to work after hours, at least it's out of my brain.
Katie: And if I were the one receiving your email, I would see it at 8:00 A.m.. I wouldn't think, oh, she's available all the time. I can always reach out to her. It still sets that boundary. That's really good.
Ellie: Yeah. Because I hate feeling like-
Katie: -you're on the hook.
Ellie: Yes. And I wouldn't want to set that precedent. Like, I'm available at one in the morning if you need me.
Katie: Yeah.
Ellie: And I've done that before and really resented it that I felt like I had to respond at one in the morning.
Katie: Yeah.
Ellie: Leave me alone.
Katie: Yes. And I think that that's one thing that people look for in millennials that that's a perk is that we're always available,
Ellie: Always online.
Katie: Yes.
Ellie: But I don't want to be always online.
Katie: No.
Ellie: I want to be offline. And going back to that Instagram message that we got, I don't know, because I feel that same way of feeling like I have to work hard in order to be productive and not be lazy. And that didn't happen for me through COVID, that's just been like a lifelong kind of thing where I feel like in order to be worthwhile in a productive member of society, I have to be contributing something I have to be achieving. For a lot of my life, I have felt like my worth as a person is tied to how hard I work. Thanks, dad. And I think a lot of us feel that way, that a lot of us, our generation was pushed to achieve and to achieve more, faster, better. And I think that's really hurt a lot of our self esteem in times of rest, because it's really hard for a lot of us to just sit and not do anything.
Katie: Yes. And then I could talk about that forever. I do have a tiny story to share about it. And then I'll stop because I really could go.
Ellie: It’s our podcast.
Katie: I know our podcast. I make the rules and there are no rules. Shayne, I think I said this probably 100 times to everybody I talked to, but has just been so awesome lately. He's always been awesome, but he has just stepped it up and is doing so much around the house all of a sudden, I don't know why, but he's doing everything- awesome. Every night I make supper. Every night he cleans the kitchen. Just regular things probably. But last night I was feeling so sick for who knows why. Easter? and I walked in to our little laundry area and it was after Jackson was in bed, and usually after Jackson goes to bed and the kitchen is cleaned, we don't really do anything. And he was doing laundry and I immediately felt guilt. I was like, did you not have a work shirt for tomorrow? And he was like, no, I was just doing laundry. I was all caught up on it and then I didn't do any. So now I'm not caught up. And I was like, I'm so sorry. You stepped it up so much that I stepped it back. And I've really been dropping the ball. And he turned around and looked at me and he was like, I'm doing laundry because laundry needs done. You still do so much. And in my brain, I was like, I've let him down because he started doing so much work that I was doing less. And now I've failed my family and he was like, what? I'm doing this so you don't have to and you're still doing all the other things. And I literally had to pep talk myself. I was like, Well, I did get groceries today. Well, I did make dinner today. I did give Jackson a bath today. Like, okay, you're still earning your keep. Like, let him do the laundry. So it's not like I have to do every single task or I'm not successful. And that's how I felt. I felt like my husband had to do laundry because he wasn't going to have a clean work shirt. And it was my fault because I didn't accomplish enough.
Ellie: Because you stuck as a wife.
Katie: Yeah. I'm a horrible wife and a horrible mother, and I don't know why anyone wants to be around me. And so it's like, I think millennials actually hold themselves to a pretty high standard to accomplish things and to be, I was going to say worthy, but that's not really the right word, but, like,
Ellie: Productive.
Katie: Yeah. And I think I know I've said this before, but the people who do the most and work the most jobs and work the hardest and have the most awards are the best. It's so cool to be tired and overworked, and it needs to not be and we're all tired anyway. So why does it have to be a fad? Why does it have to be cool that we're all overwhelmed? Let us just soak in whelm. You don't need to get an award for it. Like, we're all miserable.
Ellie: Can we just be whelmed?
Katie: Yeah. And one of the trainings I went to said that we're all drowning, but we've made it so normal to be drowning that no one's helping, no one's doing anything to fix it because we're all just like, well, we're all drowning. Best luck. And it's like, we don't have to be slow it down. None of this stuff matters.
Ellie: Well, and I think while we're on the subject of motherhood, I think you in particular, but, like, you in a general sense, like, everyone wants to be super mom. And you especially since we're both control freaks, you want to do all the things you love being a mom. You love being a wife. You love being a homemaker. You want to do all the chores and make dinner and make Shayne's life easy. As easy as it can be. And even though I don't aspire to be most of those things, I still feel the same guilt of, oh, you're cleaning the kitchen. I didn't get around to it fast enough. I wonder if you're mad at me because you had to wipe the counters or like, oh, my gosh, you did the laundry. Like, wow, thank you so much. And then it's like, if you're doing the laundry and I'm sitting on the couch, are you mad because I'm not helping enough?
Katie: Yes.
Ellie: Even though it's like, well, usually I do the laundry and, well, usually I whatever. And it's like having to remind yourself of all the things you did get done just to justify that he took care of a chore.
Katie: Right.
Ellie: Is so tough because it's like, I don't want to justify all the things that I did to make it okay that the person I live with took care of our home too.
Katie: Right?
Ellie: But it's just so tough.
Katie: It's so hard. And I'm still working a full time job. The whole mom card comes with so many things that it's okay for Shayne to do the laundry.
Ellie: For sure.
Katie: And it's like, six months ago, I would have been like, Damn, please help. Please do the laundry. Like, I need help. And now it's like, why is he doing the laundry? What's wrong? Did I not do it? Did you cheat on me? Why are you loving me and caring for our home? I don't get it.
Ellie: It's like such a fine line between, because it's so hard to ask for help. It's like you just want them to be able to read your mind, but at the same time, like,
Katie: What ya doin?
Ellie: Yeah. It's hard to not feel the weight of traditional gender roles even when you like them and want to be that way. It's hard to not feel that pressure.
Katie: I've totally cried before over a work shirt for sure. Because Shane wears, like, a uniform kind of, loosely. And he's gotten up and been like, oh, my God, I thought I had one in the closet. And I didn't. And I was like, worse, I cry. Now what are you going to wear? A dirty shirt to work.
Ellie: And I'm over here. Like, he'll figure it out. If he needed a shirt, he'd do the laundry.
Katie: Yep. And then I'll get mad. I cycle it's like, why didn't you tell me yesterday that was the last work shirt or something? And he didn't know either. He would have done the laundry if he realized it was his last shirt.
Ellie: Right.
Katie: Meanwhile, I wear the same pants for twelve weeks before I consider washing them. Slight exaggeration. Ever so slight.
Ellie: But it's hard to feel the weight of like, I want to do all these things. And now you're accustomed to me doing all these things and carrying the weight of everything managing our home.
Katie: Yeah. And we were just talking about this today. Our parents, not specifically mine and yours. Our generations parents have a tendency to say things like, well, I did it and I made it out just fine. I was a mom and I did it, and I had four kids. And it's like, okay, I hear what you're saying. That doesn't mean it's not hard for me. That doesn't mean or. And I had to. I don't know.
Ellie:And like, you made it out fine. But you definitely need therapy.
Katie: Right?
Ellie: So did you make it out fine?
Katie: Right? I don't know. That's a whole ‘nother thing. But, yeah, I think there's a lot of pressure from other generations, too, to say, like, oh, it's not that hard. Suck it up. You'll make it out, you'll be fine.
Ellie: And things are so much easier now. You have so much help and so many resources.
Katie: Okay. Where?
Ellie: I had no walk uphill both ways in the snow,
Katie: barefoot in my one room school house.
Ellie: We could talk a lot about parenting and generations and stuff like that.
Katie: Yeah, we could talk a lot about anything for sure. But to talk about something we've already talked about, about how we want things really quickly. I was also just talking today about how Ellie and I both ordered our very own merch.
Ellie: I forgot.
Katie: Yeah, I didn't.
Ellie: I was like, where she's going?
Katie: She's going right here. Not so ladylike. We both ordered last week and they haven't shipped yet. Well, kind of this week it's not been like seven days. But we ordered shirts and they haven't shipped. And I was like, Ellie, our shirts haven't shipped. What's going on? And you were like, they have to make the shirts. You have to give them more than 12 hours.
Ellie: I have to explain the screen printing process.
Katie: Right. They have to get the shirt, make the shirt, ship the shirt. And I was like, okay, you're right. It's still coming. It's still quick. But anyway, the whole point is we have merch guys.
Ellie: So if you want to rep the Not So Ladylike brand, we have two different designs. In this first collection, we decided to start small. So the first one is our logo. It has some cute little stripes with our brand colors on them. Speaking of ordering things, a few of my packages are just arriving. I saw the FedEx truck pull up.
Katie: Listen closely. You'll hear them knock on the door.
Ellie: And then the second one, it's our no rules shirt, because in the center it has a woman smoking a cigarette-
Katie: Because there are no rules. We'll tell stories about that later. Smoker's table.
Ellie: Yeah, but we are so proud of them and we can't wait to finally wear them when they get arrived.
*laughter*
Katie: I saw your eyes before it even came out of your mouth. And like, your brain wasn't caught up.
Ellie: Like I knew I couldn't stop it. And it was like a freight train. Anyway, you should buy one too.
Katie: But seriously, we have so many ideas and we really had to stop ourselves and just only put out two right now because it's a marathon, not sprint… to success.
Ellie: Anyway, we made shirts. We really like them. We think you like them, too. If you identify as being Not So Ladylike,
Katie: Or if you just like us,
Ellie: Please match us. We're going to post pictures of ours-
Katie: Obsessively. As soon as they get here, we are going to wear them and post them everywhere. And I'm going to wear it every day to work. New work uniform. Not So Ladylike T. But I only got one, so I'm going to have to do a lot of laundry.
Ellie: Shayne is going to have to do…
Katie: Shayne's going to have to do a lot of laundry. It doesn't go in the dryer, babe.
Ellie: But yeah, you can find the shirts on our website. You can find them through our Instagram links. So the last misconception that we're going to share kind of circles back to the first misconception that we shared. And it's about being rude. I think it's a common mistake that people make to assume that millennials are rude, and especially when it comes to going into a restaurant that they don't tip well, that they are rude to people, that they expect everything to be given to them very quickly. And I know from speaking with my friends who are in the restaurant industry that the actual worst patrons are the Sunday older crowd who are generally rude, not very patient, and tip really poorly.
Katie: I don't really know anyone our age who will send food back.
Ellie: I feel like I sent something back the other day... I did. I will. Dylan and I both ordered cranberry limeades, and they brought one cranberry limeade and one Sprite with limes. And I had to send it back twice. I pushed the button and I was like, hey, we ordered on the app, you gave us a Sprite with limes and they brought out another Sprite with limes. And I was like, no, it was supposed to be also a cranberry limeade.
Katie: And maybe this just shows that I'm a millennial, but I feel like that's different than being seated at a restaurant and being like, this is just wrong. I don't like the way because every time I've been at a restaurant and people have sent something back that I've overheard because I'm nosy as hell. It's not because you ordered a limeade and you got Sprite with limes. It's because my green beans were too cold or this has too much salt or this is blah, blah, blah. And of course, there are times when things are actually really wrong, but most of the time it's just like…
Ellie: A preference.
Katie: Yes. And I don't know that could go either way. I know you're paying for an experience and you're paying for a meal, so it needs to be good. But also, if you need it to be absolutely perfect, then cook it at home.
Ellie: I agree with that.
Katie: But yes, I know lots of people. One of my friends who I graduated college with served her whole way through college, and then after because she made way more money doing that than social work. But she would always say that those were the worst tables. They were always so rude and so forward. And I just feel like we kind of keep our thoughts to ourselves in public at least.
Ellie: I do feel like we are generally gracious and patient and we know that most issues at a restaurant aren't the servers fault.
Katie: Yeah, we've talked about that before, but that's a really good point.
Ellie: If your food is wrong, your waitress didn't cook it right.
Katie: You don't have to be rude or “I need to talk to your manager”
Ellie: Right.
Katie: Yeah. How many millennials do you know that say, Let me speak to your manager.
Ellie: Zero.
Katie: Right.
Ellie: But yeah, I think that's just one example of how millennials aren't generally-
Katie: Just rude on purpose for fun.
Ellie: Yeah.
Katie: Misunderstood? Maybe.
Ellie: Misunderstood millennials!
Katie: Yes. There you go. But I think a lot of that still circles back to the technology because they're like all they do is keep their nose in their phones and they're never talking to anybody. And they're just so rude sitting at the table on their phone.
Ellie: But I wonder, I mean, obviously, we don't know a life that isn't like this one, but I wonder what it was like before cell phones. Like, did you sit at the table and read your book or read the newspaper or what else did you do to occupy your time?
Katie: I'm pretty sure everyone's grandparents read the newspaper at the table. Maybe I'm wrong, but what's the difference? And me on my phone or you reading the newspaper.
Ellie: Right.
Katie: Also, this is just a random little tidbit that can get deleted. But I think our parents are also really connected to their microwaves. That bit of technology, don't you? Anything that's microwavable is just so cool.
Ellie: They love it.
Katie: Yeah.
Ellie: I remember the first apartment Dylan and I had together, we didn't have a microwave. And everyone I told thought that we were crazy. His parents were like, what do you mean you don't have a microwave?
Katie: They're cheap. You can afford one. We'll get it for you.
Ellie: Yeah. And we were like, well, A:we don't have counter space, but anything we need to heat up, we can do in the oven or on the stove. And it's generally better. We have time for it. We don't need a microwave.
Katie: The only thing I prefer in the microwave. Oh, I don't even know if I prefer it. But just convenience is like steamed vegetables.
Ellie: Yeah.
Katie: And I'm heating them for myself. Like, Shayne doesn't hardly like them that way at all. But if it's something I'm just making for me, I'll steam it in the microwave, but they're always squishier. And the only other thing that I would say always comes from the microwave for us is popcorn. Unless we're at his parents house, they have, like, a popcorn popper thing. I don't know.
Ellie: I definitely like having a microwave.
Katie: Yes.
Ellie: I steam the veggies, I do the popcorn.
Katie: I reheat my coffee for sure.
Ellie: I like it. But I also could live without it.
Katie: Totally.
Ellie: But I could live without a lot of things. I was having a conversation with one of my friends the other day, and we were both talking about how we really want to switch back to a flip phone.
Katie: Yeah. Shayne makes fun of me all the time. Anytime, like a consumer cellular phone or anything comes in at Target he says he thinks of me. And I'm not saying this to be cute or weird or quirky. I get really frustrated with a smartphone. I am not quick with technology. Everyone probably knows that about me. But I just get so frustrated. There's so much on it all the time. I don't know. And it would be nice again, back to work if my emails were only on my computer or whatever. So I 100% miss buttons on my phone. Why do I not have any buttons?
Ellie: Me too. I wish I could have my iPhone for work and then have one of those, like,
Katie: Sidekick.
Ellie: Yeah, like a sidekick that had the QWERTY keyboard. I wish I had that for personal because-
Katie: I don't want T9. I want more than, like, the twelve buttons.
Ellie: Yeah, but I don't want to get notifications all day. I don't want to get my email notifications. I don't want Instagram,
Katie: But I want to call my mom.
Ellie: Yes. And I want to be able to text quickly.
Katie: Yeah, well, I feel that way because my phone is my alarm clock. So even when my alarm goes off, when my alarm goes off, if I go to snooze, I'll see new email. And then, like, my brain, I'll put my phone back under my pillow. And it's like you have other things on there. But I need to start going back to night mode, like silencing notifications.
Ellie: Yeah.
Katie: And that would fix that.
Ellie: Well, the other day when we got that wacky email at one in the morning, when my alarm went off in the morning, that was the first notification I saw. And I went to turn off my alarm and I was like, wait a second, I have to read that right now. And then I couldn't go back to sleep.
Katie: You read it that early and didn't tell me?
Ellie: No.
Katie: When you texted-
Ellie: We read it at the same time.
Katie: Oh, you just woke up later because that was like the middle of the day in my brain.
Ellie: Oh, no. For me, that was morning.
Katie: Yeah.
Ellie: Well, anyway. Yeah, that was the first thing that I saw. That was the first notification on my phone.
Katie: Yeah.
Ellie: So I would love to not have my smartphone all the time.
Katie: Right. Like not wake up to emails, not wake up to Instagram notifications.
Ellie: Yeah, but it's like I feel like I have to have it.
Katie:Y es, but you and I are kind of goofy in a way. We could both live without microwaves, TVs.
Ellie: But I like my cell phone.
Katie: Right. A lot of technology I could live without. I do, like a good backup cam, though. That's a good one.
Ellie: Dylan made fun of me the other day because we were driving somewhere and I didn't know what I wanted to listen to. And the radio sucked and he didn't want to DJ. So I whipped out my massive CD holder and I was flipping through-
Katie: Which is under your passenger seat.
Ellie: Yeah. And he was like, Is it 2005? What are you doing?
Katie: Depends which mixtape I picked, Dylan, I'll tell you what year it is.
Ellie: I played Ellie’s 2008 summer mix. That was very good.
Katie: Okay, see, I think we're still connected.
Ellie: I think so too.
Katie: Anyway, give a millennial a chance.
Ellie: Anyway, here's Wonderwall.
Katie: Most importantly, this whole episode, I just want the 40 year olds to know that they're millennials. *laughter* It's not people who are 15 to 25. You're a millennial. Most of you listening? Millennials.
