It’s your first time doing a boudoir session, and you’re feeling a lot of nerves.

You might think you’re nervous about being photographed because you “aren’t photogenic.” Seriously, I hear this so often that if I had a dollar for every time someone said it to me, my retirement account would be cushyyyy.

I think the fear of being photographed is valid, and I also think it usually goes deeper than just that because most people aren’t actually afraid of having photos taken. Rather they’re afraid of what they might see in the photos afterward.

It’s like walking into a dressing room during swimsuit season and suddenly feeling like the version of yourself in the mirror doesn’t match what you thought you looked like when you left the house that morning.

Or seeing yourself in the front-facing camera and thinking, wait… is that really what I look like rn?

Being photographed can feel incredibly high-stakes, even fully clothed.

And I think the deeper fear underneath all of it is vulnerability. It’s the feeling of giving up control over how you’re perceived and wondering what might happen when someone else is holding the camera. And in its nature, holding the power to show you a version of yourself that you may have never seen before.

I totally understand why boudoir feels vulnerable.

So many people tell me they’re afraid they’ll hate their photos; not because they’re questioning my skill as a photographer, but because they don’t feel 100% confident in the way they see themselves.

That inner mean girl can get loud. She’ll tell you that you’re not skinny enough, pretty enough, young enough, toned enough, confident enough, perky enough… the list goes on and on.

When you’ve spent years talking to yourself that way, it makes sense that the idea of being photographed feels intimidating.

You start judging yourself before you’ve even given yourself the chance to experience it because what if the photos “confirm” the things you already fear about yourself? What if someone else finally sees it too?

That’s the real vulnerability–not just taking the photos, but allowing yourself to be seen while not fully believing you’re worthy of being seen in the first place. (ouch, sorry if that hit home!)

And on top of that, there’s the vulnerability of being ~exposed~ in front of someone you don’t know very well yet.

Being photographed in lingerie or partially nude or even just in less clothes than normal can feel like a biiiiig step outside of your comfort zone, which is exactly why I don’t expect you to walk into the studio already feeling fully comfortable and confident. Building trust is part of the process.

That’s why there are multiple connection points before we ever start taking photos.

Before your session, we’ll connect a few different times:

1. Connection calls before booking
Before you ever commit, we’ll hop on a call so you can ask questions, hear more about the experience, and get a feel for whether I’m the right fit for you. It’s a great way to get to know each other before moving forward!

2. Consult calls before your session
We’ll talk through all the details—what to wear, your vision for the session, hair and makeup ideas, and anything that’s come up since booking.

3. Hair and makeup before we shoot
We don’t jump straight into photos the second you walk through the door. You’ll spend about an hour in hair and makeup first while we sit, chat, decompress, and ease into the day together.

By the time we start shooting, you’re not walking into a new space with a virtual stranger anymore. Instead you’re walking into an experience where you already feel supported, known, and safe enough to take up space.

How your nerves may show up on the day of your session

Sometimes when you first arrive, the nerves feel big.

And they can show up in all kinds of ways: nervous laughter, overthinking everything, apologizing constantly, sweating, feeling clammy, stiff body language… all the very glamorous side effects of doing something vulnerable on purpose.

The thing I hear most often is: “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Which makes total sense. Most of my clients have never done a boudoir session before. For many of them, the last time they had professional photos taken was for their wedding, high school graduation, or their annual color coordinating family photos.

Boudoir is completely different, so of course you’re nervous.

But once we actually get into the session, things usually start shifting pretty quickly.

You realize you’re not expected to magically know how to pose or perform. Every pose is demonstrated for you first, and I’m guiding you through the entire process in real time, telling you what to do with your hands, where to look, how to move, when to breathe.

The moment that the nerves really disappear is when you get to see the back of the camera for the first time.

Suddenly, you realize you don’t look awkward or weird or “bad” the way your anxious brain convinced you that you would. The photos are already beautiful, and you feel that bit of reassurance that you aren’t somehow messing up.

That first little spark of relief and surprise is usually when you finally exhale and begin to really lean into the experience. You stop wondering if this was a mistake and start letting yourself enjoy it instead.

You’re not the exception

My hope with every new client is that you take advantage of those connection points if you feel nervous. Schedule the call. Ask the questions. Talk things through with me as much as you need to.

This is literally my job–a job that I created for myself because I genuinely love doing it. You are never ever ever inconveniencing me by needing reassurance or support.

One of the best things about this experience is that it can be as high-touch as you want it to be. If you need a lot of hand-holding throughout the process, I’m more than happy to provide it. I’ll answer questions, help you choose outfits, give feedback on options, and walk through every little detail with you.

And if you’re more of a solo planner who likes to quietly get things done on your own? That’s okay too. I’ll still check in, but I’m always going to meet you where you’re at

Ultimately, this experience isn’t about forcing yourself to become fearless overnight. It’s more about learning that you can feel nervous and still do the thing anyway.

There have been plenty of tears shed in my studio over the years because of how vulnerable this can feel.

And pushing through to the other side of that discomfort leaves you with a kind of confidence that reaches beyond the photos themselves. So if you’re sitting here thinking, “Okay, but I could never actually do something like this…”

With so much love: you are not the exception.

It’s easy to look at other people’s photos and think, well of course they look good. But with trust, communication, and a willingness to step a little outside your comfort zone, I think you’d be surprised what’s possible for you too.